Christy is a dear friend of mine. I was with her on the night she lost her husband. She was suddenly, without any warning, the single mom of three of cutest pea-pops, ever . Her walk since that night has been nothing short of courageous and inspirational to me. She has been a beautiful picture of contrasts: vulnerable yet strong, crushed yet hopeful, exhausted yet persevering. She recently reached a point in her journey where she is ready to share. And I am deeply thankful for the opportunity to learn from the wisdom God is pouring into her.
A guest blog post from Christy Davis:
Almost seven months ago, I entered the world and label of being a “single mom.” I had been blessed with a wonderful husband of almost nine years who shared so much of a parenting partnership with me. From the time we brought home our first child from the hospital over seven years ago, he shared in the feedings, sleepless nights, sick days, and bedtime routines. I know some might say that I was royally spoiled to have a husband who was so hands-on and involved, and I probably would have to agree.
The suddenness of his passing away brings grief and also makes the transition to doing it all alone so much harder. From the time my alarm clock goes off in the morning until the last good night kiss is given, my mind and my feet are constantly in motion. I’ve got meals to make for little eaters who are much pickier than my husband was which causes me to question whether the prep time is even worth it. (Are pancakes okay to eat every night?) I’ve got school drop-offs and pick-ups as well as extracurricular activities to shuttle kids to so their “routine” and childlike world can stay as normal as possible through all of the family changes we are transitioning ourselves through. During the in-between moments, I have toilets to clean, endless piles of laundry to fold, and bank accounts to keep in check. And the hardest thing about it all is that, some days, not a word of thanks is uttered.
Yes, my husband was good at showing gratitude as well. So trying to do all that I do now without being told “thank you” has been tough. I have to have a “big picture” purpose for my days that far exceeds anything frustrating that may happen on any particular day. More importantly, I have to be passionate and intentional about carrying out those purposes, no matter what may come my way. I know what I want to develop in my children, and the kind of character I desire for them to have when they become adults. I constantly have to think long term about who I pray they will be some day so that I can get through all of the seemingly mundane tasks that don’t feel very purposeful in that moment.
And, personally, part of my passion and desire to be a successful mom means that I must give myself breaks to recharge so that I can better parent my children. I have to include “pick me up” breaks in my days that bring me happiness, like a special mug filled with steaming coffee, reading a few pages in a book I enjoy, or a few minutes spent learning in an online photography class. I have to be intentional about giving myself those breaks and not waiting for others to give them to me. I am so thankful that I do not walk this journey alone and I believe that God has equipped me with what I will need along the way. Fearful thoughts can arise, but I know that these special little people are a gift that has been entrusted to me. That huge blessing far outweighs anything else that comes my way.
