Yes, I confess that I over project managed my kids. I fell into it very easily with my little mini-me Megan. She was so type A herself that dancing began at 4 and swimming and art lessons and piano and straight A’s and the diligence award accumulated quickly. She marched right through it all beautifully. I managed a very complex calendar of weekly events. My second, Emily, did it all, too. She thought all the activity was just what we do.
And so did I… We were living in the van. Snacks in the van, naps in the van, homework in the van. We had a cooler, case of waters, chairs, sunscreen, bug spray, bandaids, and lots more. We loaded the van with everything just short of a port-a-potty. I do know someone who did that! They took their little training potty and put it in the back of their van.
It all seemed fine until there were three. Then I began to see the light, little number three was spending his entire infancy in the van. Well not entirely, he got regular maulings from dozens of little girls when we went to watch all the activities. Still it didn’t seem right. It was hardly a developmental way of life for the little guy.
We stopped the merry-go-round or should I say slowed it down a bit at that point. We didn’t totally get off but we began to limit what any one child could do at one time. It’s a good thing because then we adopted two more. One mom can only be at so many places at a time. I still fight the impulse to let my kids do everything. And I still fight the impulse to try to manage what they do. Like insuring their homework is perfect and they’ve practice whatever it is they are supposed to be practicing.
I am a type A mom and I like to manage, but I am trying not to over do it. If I don’t stop managing their life projects, how will they ever learn to mangage themselves?
